i recently checked out this band from their youtube clips. they were recommended by the acapella group that came during the jazz fest recently. (i wrote down the band's name but didn't go watch til now)
the album they have is awesome.. and it really doesnt sound like its all done by voices. but for those who find it hard to believe, check out these vids!
this subject came up as a result of different thoughts and ponderings and so i think its a good time i share my own dreams. i dont think i've shared this on my blog yet.
at this point of time, i have two major dreams (as in things i wanna do), and some minor ones..
dream 1 : my life ambition which is to be a wife and mother.. full time. in this day and age especially, where family bonds are not strong and the world is getting worse and worse, i think there is a need for me to be dedicated full time to my family. i do not want to be a wife who is tired out at the end of the day and has no strength or mood to serve and care for her husband. i do not want to be a mother who goes to work and leaves her kids with a maid / babysitter or someone else to train them and bring them up. a child's upbringing is of the utmost important and i think its absolutely vital that i am ALWAYS there to care and train my children.
i was blessed that both my parents were always at home. both my mom and dad worked from home. i remember that whenever my parents were not around, i would get excited because it was such a rare occurance.. but its very assuring having my parents always being around and easily available (i prob wouldnt say that while i was growing up, but now i realize what a blessing it was). i learned a great deal from my parents and life at home is something i now wish i had. it was a blessed time with great memories and fun with my parents and my siblings. i want my family to be like that too, and i want my children to have that same experience. and i want my children brought up well, which means i cannot leave the responsibility of teaching n training them to other people. and i want my husband to have the best help mate he can, to help him achieve the call and destiny that God has upon his life.
dream 2 : home ministry (?) a few yrs back, probably in my uni yrs, i had a dream. i think it was a day dream but its something i want to do, if God enables and provides. in my original dream, i saw my home, filled with children, friends of my children and also children from the neighbourhood who were from broken families or who were left alone because both parents were busy working. i saw them finding a place they could call home, a place of love and belonging, where they would find the love of a family like God intended, and a place of refuge for them from the world. my family would love these kids as if they were part of the family (and in this i think it would be a good training for my own kids to learn to be selfless as well as loving and how to minister God's love to others).
i've since considered also making my home a refuge to the mothers living around me. single mothers, needy mothers from broken families or even other full time mothers could come and help or find help. it would be a ministry to the mothers as well as to the children. well, the men can come too if my husband is around, i think.. havent thought that part out yet.
this is no easy feat. for starters, i'd need to fulfill dream no 1. then i'd need a house big enough for a lot of ppl, with a big backyard that children could play in comfortably. i'd also need a husband who is supportive of this ministry and also full of love for people, especially children. and of course if there's gonna be so many women around, my husband MUST be the faithful kind.
there are a lot of obstacles to this dream. this is something i cannot accomplish alone. its something i want to do, but if God does not enable and supply, i wont be able to. small scale of course can do at home, but not as it was in the dream.
these are the 2 major dreams in my life at the moment. i believe they are given by God. the first dream is something i've known in my heart of hearts for a few years now. growing up, i've never thought abt or wanted to be a full time wife n mother, but somehow one day it was just there, i dont even know how, i just know. just like how i just knew i was to go to form 6 and not college. the other was born out of the first dream.
about the others.. little dreams (or wishes, if u'd like to call it that) that i have: 1. send my parents on a holiday, to Israel. i think my dad has long wanted to go there. both my parents work too much and rest too little. 2. buy my dad a lot of gadgets. he loves technology. 3. meet a few dear friends around the world 4. see revival in the youth (and be part of it too of course) 5. see my girls grow into great women of God 6. travel and see the world 7. go raiding on WoW until i'm satisfied
in the current path of my life, i dont know or see how most of these dreams can be fulfilled. but these dreams, these desires of my heart, i give to God. if He grants them, then it will come to pass. if He doesnt, that's His right. He is LORD after all.
i somehow find that showers are the best "thinking times".. not that i consciously think while showering, but my mind somehow drifts to different things and come to certain surprising conclusions / revelations / light bulb moments etc..
today my mind was drifting to current issues in my life, and also took a stroll down memory lane.. through that journey, i've discovered certain things..
i've realized that there are 2 things that ignite my usually cool temper: 1. being unfairly judged 2. being accused of things i did not do
these also cause a lot of hurt. i do get hurt, but hurt + anger is not very common a combination in my life.
i've realized this by reflecting back on the times i've been explosively angry back when i was a teenager (man that sounds like it was so long ago!) until my dad had to tell me to stop shouting. after that i stopped shouting i think, but i can tell u the shouting continued long and loudly in my head. i still do this today.. when i'm angry, i'll be arguing and shouting and venting all my anger, only in my head. sometimes heated words do leak, but the bulk of it is still in my head.
not many here have seen my temper, i think only my family has seen the full extent of my temper, but i think my colleagues have seen my temper spark more than anyone else here in kk. when things don't get done properly and on time.. heated words leak, but i do control it.
these few weeks has seen constant flares of hurt and resentment like nothing i've known in my 5 years here. at first hurt.. but now more and more mixed with resentment that causes frequent shouting matches in my head. nothing even like any bgr problems i've had before. i'd have expected those fragile and intimate relationships to cause much more hurt but who knew.. perhaps because i'm sore on these 2 areas and i dont get hit here from bgrs. sigh.
nevertheless, i see God's fingerprints on all these.. just like Him to bring stuff to poke all the sore spots and bring it out in the open for me to deal with. God continues to move, even though inside i feel like i'm further away from Him than i've ever been in these past 5 yrs.. the grace and love of God.. would a mere mortal such as i even begin to comprehend its breadth and depth?
for now, the way forward is still hidden from me.. i'm still stuck where i dont want to be with no way out. all i know now is to say these words from a book i read today, "I shall never do otherwise, if You leave me to myself; 'tis You must hinder my falling, and mend what is amiss"
i thought i'd blog this so ppl everywhere can read..
WHAT WAS YOUR: 1. Last beverage: peach green tea with tiny pearl & orange green tea with tiny pearl xD 2. Last phone call: melvyn lim 3. Last text message: emery joy 4. Last song you listened to: on my phone, the gospel of mark audio book (not song la), on my workstation, something from justin timberlake, at the shop.. i dunno.. some songs la... 5. Last time you cried: yesterday, a few times, different degrees of intensity (lol).. like mel, tears of gratitude
HAVE YOU EVER: 6. Dated someone twice: what does that mean? 7. Been cheated on: if its by a guy, nope 8. Kissed someone & regretted it: hmm.. no regrets la, i'm not a regretful kinda person... things happened, learn from it, move on, thats it.. 9. Lost someone special: yep *sigh* 10. Been depressed: got la but not seriously badly depressed.. maybe once when i was younger n contemplating suicide but i think just that once it was bad.. 11. Been drunk and threw up: not yet.. dunno if it'll ever happen.. we'll see
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS: 12. purple 13. black 14. erm.. dunno
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009) 15. Made a new friend: yeah, some.. 16. Fallen out of love: dont think i'm even qualified to be in the "in love" category, so cant fall out of love 17. Laughed until you cried: yepz 18. Met someone who changed you: yep yep 19. Found out who your true friends were: i've known for a long time.. 20. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah, i overheard.. mel n josh, talking abt ppl not being able to run.. hmphz.. looking down on me! 21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: yep hahaha 22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: a looooootttttt 23. How many kids do you want?: 2 or 3 24. Do you have any pets: i dont have any of mine atm, but my hsemate has 2 hamster-mice.. 25. Do you want to change your name: no way! 26. What did you do for your last birthday: spoiled a surprise and ate sushi hahaha 27. What time did you wake up today: erm, i woke at 4+am, then 6+am, then 7+am, and 8+am.. 28. What were you doing at midnight last night: catching Zs 29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: the day i meet him.. 30. Last time you saw your Mother: when i went back for my grandpa's funeral.. 31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i'd like to have more self control.. 32. What are you listening to right now : the buzzing sound my laptop cooler makes.. and my typing.. 33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: cant remember.. 34. What's getting on your nerves right now: nothing.. 35. Most visited webpages : gmail, twitter, google reader 36. Whats your real name: Jo-Hanna Ho Wai Yann 37. Nicknames: jo, jojo, jojo power ranger (by that one dude..), and some other not so nice ones.. 38. Relationship Status: alone.. *sniff*... lol 39. Zodiac sign: nvm abt this.. 40. Male or female?: female 41. Primary School?: not this year.. SRJK(C) Ave Maria Convent 42. Secondary School?: SMJK Ave Maria Convent, the awesomest school that has moulded me so much! 43. High school/college?: SMK St Michael's Institution (form 6) & Universiti Malaysia Sabah 44. Hair colour: black with brown 45. Long or short: long 46. Height: 155ish cm 47. Do you have a crush on someone?: no crush, too shallow.. 48: What do you like about yourself?: everything, except my self control.. 49. Piercings: ears only 50. Tattoos: birthmark got la 51. Righty or lefty: righty
FIRSTS : 52. First surgery: none as far as i know.. 53. First piercing: ears 54. First best friend: first one i called best friend is Eugene Lim, but the only true best friend is Scott Anderson (i'm talking mortal best friends) 55. First sport you joined: sport ah.. joined as in a team, probably handball 56. First vacation: think its the starcruise gemini when i was in my tweens 58. First pair of trainers: dunno..
RIGHT NOW 59. Eating: nothing 60. Drinking: nothing 61. I'm about to: finish this then sleep? 62. Listening to: same as the last listening to question 63. Waiting on: me finishing this..
YOUR FUTURE 64. Want kids?: for sure.. 65. Get Married?: dont even need to ask.. 66. Career?: dream job : full time wife & mother
WHICH IS BETTER : 67. Lips or eyes: eyes 68. Hugs or kisses: kisses 69. Shorter or taller: taller 70. Older or Younger: depends on what area 71. Romantic or spontaneous: romantic 72. Nice stomach or nice arms: doesnt matter to me 73. Sensitive or loud: sensitive 74. Hook-up or relationship: relationship 75. Trouble maker or hesitant: neither, but between the 2, i'd rather have a trouble maker..
HAVE YOU EVER : 76. Kissed a stranger: i dont think so.. 77. Drank hard liquor: i should have.. 78. Lost glasses/contacts: havent lost any, i've broken one pair of glasses.. 79. Sex on first date: no sex yet 80. Broken someone's heart: yeah... *sigh* 82. Been arrested: nope.. 83. Turned someone down: depends on what.. 84. Cried when someone died: yeah, a lot.. 85. Fallen for a friend?: arent all ppl that are considered for relationships friends?
DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 86. Yourself: yes i do, but only within my limitations.. for all the rest there's God 87. Miracles: yes 88. Love at first sight: nah.. 89. Heaven: yep 90. Santa Claus: dont think i ever have 91. Kiss on the first date: depends.. the runway before a "first date" for me is pretty long.. ideally.. 92. Angels: yes
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY: 94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: nope 95. Did you sing today?: think so.. 96. Ever cheated on somebody?: physically no, emotionally.. i think there was one period that i did.. 97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: dont think i'd go back in time.. 98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: no idea.. 99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: nope, i've never been afraid of that.. 100. Posting this as 100 truths?: i dont really get the question..
1. the naruto story is awesome, the life lessons you can learn from it, my salutes and respect to the author. cant wait for the unfolding of how he changes the world! he demonstrates how we should be living sorta.. except we should be doing even more with the help of our awesome creator of the universe God.
2. new moon trailer *GIRLY SCREAM* check it out!!
new moon is my least fav book of the saga, cos edward isnt the main character featured in the book, cos i'm disappointed that he left her alone in pain. even though it was really noble of him, the action he took was plain stupid... noble, very noble but really stupid. if my bf/hubby did that kinda thing, i'll slap him silly until he knocks outta it.
so yea.. awesome..
i havent been catching up on my manga for months.. hmm.. perhaps time to pick it up again..
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